Today, is filled with uncertainty, mixed emotions or just plain old confusion. I’m running with a mixture of sounds on my playlist to try and process what it is that needs to be processed.
Looking back..... I see no hope. Is that bad? Or just a passing thought maybe? Is it all just a fleeting moment, not worth dwelling on? But then what’s the point of it all, I wonder why we bother sometimes.
Looking ahead... I try to comprehend the Lords plans; to trust in them is what I should be doing right? What business is it really for me to comprehend what the Lord has planned? Or am I just being stupid and tempted by the enemy to question all the simple stuff so I ignore all the beautiful stuff going on around me. There’s beautiful stuff going on around me? (Silly rabbit!!)
Now I know why this year has been such a slow process, who the heck wants to process half the crap we’ve experienced.
Why would anyone want to admit to these things, Fear, Rejection and Failure?
I sat there yesterday thinking, if life is a never-ending battle that we are destined to fail, why on earth do we bother? Earlier that day I attended church and the sermon was on the precious gift of life...funny huh spot the listening but not really listening guy!
Distracted by the world much! Inward thinking got the better of me maybe?
One of the biggest signs of dumbassness is openly questioning what is, denying the facts that are before me and of course questioning God’s will for me or just questioning God all together!
As you can see this is extremely muddled, kind of like how I’m feeling.
I know, I don’t know. I understand, but then I am confused. I need to process but not too sure what.
Or maybe I could just stop being nice to myself and just admit DENIAL...Hmmmmm.
Oh dear it’s like the U2 song I’m listening to right now is trying to tell me something, like the Priest and his sermon yesterday....Life is way bigger than you honey, get over yourself already!!!
You've got to get yourself together
you’ve got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
don’t say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
and you can't get out of it
(U2, Stuck in a moment, Chorus.)
Although you guys are probably going to be more confused than me after reading this, I would actually like to finish with these encouraging lyrics just so you know I haven’t completely lost all hope.
Its clear enough to me The ugliness I see Is evidence of who I need
Give me an answer Give me the way out Give me the FAITH To BELIEVE in these hard times
(NEEDTOBREATHE, these hard times.)
Lyrics of the year, an oldie but a goodie
It’s you and me and thanks for the good times gee :)
SHINE J and remember to keep on smiling... You could actually save a life with your J
1Love peepsJ
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5-6
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